Casey Kasem. Every year when the calendar winds down to the last official week of the year, I hear Casey Kasem’s voice in my head. He’s the radio personality that has counted down the top 40 songs for some 30+ years. He retired this year. I remember sitting in my bedroom as a teenager, wondering what the top song of the year or the decade would be on the 31st of whatever year it was. Which, probably eludes to my lackluster adolescent social life.

So this time of year when Casey’s voice bounces around in my memory, when calendar stores randomly pop up at all the malls, and when fitness centers across the US start offering special deals, I realize we have now entered the season of New Year’s Resolutions. Vows to cut out sugar or nicotine, caffeine or nail biting, cursing or speeding, yelling at the kids, the spouse, the dog, decisions to pray more, give more, do more, whatever it may be, people resolve to do it on January 1.

Research suggests that if a person can keep up with a new activity for about 6 weeks, it becomes part of their routine, it can become habitual. So resolutions that have a chance of lasting are those that people hang on to for about 6 weeks. Most people I know, myself included, last only a few days or maybe a week with their resolutions. For many of us, it all sounds like a noble idea until we either get stressed, bored, or simply forgetful. Then we are back at it until another season or reason prompts us to action again.

At the grocery store today I noticed all the magazine covers boasting the top everything of 2009. The top 10 people, top 10 defining moments, top fashion disasters, top movies, songs, etc. Normally, I barely notice the magazine covers but this time of year, I am curious. Well, what were those defining moments? Who are those top people?

I stood in line tonight with my over-stuffed holiday stomach and my silent vow to eat less this coming year, for at least six weeks. And I thought about how impossible it seems to have any resolve when seemingly perfect people who have either the most fabulous career, social life, professional life etc. stare at me from all these magazine covers as the top of the top.

And then I start thinking about how they all have personal trainers or coaches, chefs or nannies, how they attended some of the top colleges and universities or how they had parents who decided to help them become fluent in 5 languages. And I think that perhaps I may not make a resolution of any sort since I’m just an average, slouchy mom buying milk and tangerines the week after Christmas.

But, and yes, here it comes, the “green moment”, average people like me and you are the ones who should make these sorts of commitments because when a million or a billion of us vow to shift something, change happens. And yes, we need to all play nice on the international scene and urge our nation to pull its weight when it comes to places like Copenhagen. But we also need to make a few resolutions that last longer than 6 weeks on our own, without political action or government prompting. Just average people making better decisions.

So, at the risk of sounding like Casey Kasem in your head. What are you going to do different in 2010? Can you do something a bit more sustainable than you did last year? Since, science has us careening toward irreversible climate changes, shifting a few things this year seems more than a little important.

Need some ideas? Here are some really easy ones. For most of us, starting small has more staying power than converting your car to run on vegetable oil, or getting rid of it entirely. Like starting an exercise program by running a mile instead of trying to run 26.2. Take small steps that actually work and you may have yourself a new habit that means something to the planet.

1. can you carpool with a co-worker once a week?

2. can you take the train, bus, or walk to work instead of driving once a week?

3. Can you ditch your disposable coffee cups, lunch ware, plastic bags, napkins for the year?

4. Can you refuse to idle your car at the ATM, school pick up, or any pick up?

5. Turn your lights and appliances off when not in use. Wash your clothes in only cold water?

6. Make a monthly donation to an environmental/conservation organization?

7. Skip meat one day or one meal per week.

8. If you do not currently recycle, find a program near you and get started.

9. Shift your media to electronic, skip on newspapers and printed materials.

10. Conserve water (shorter showers, flush your toilet less, can you skip on watering your lawn?)

Maybe someday the rest of us, with all our small changes, will warrant the cover of a magazine. “Top 6 billion planet savers of 2010?”

It is officially winter in Chicago. Even though the calendar won’t reflect this reality until two more weeks, there is snow and wind, ice and sleet, and single digit temperatures. The frozen tundra that is my home 4 months each year has arrived.

Last week I hauled my little bundle of people to the grocery store. This is normally a formidable feat as dragging three children anywhere can almost bring me to tears. But since the turn toward winter, simple tasks like this now require boots, hats, gloves, socks, etc. It now takes an additional fifteen minutes to get anywhere.

Add to that a generous allowance of time for winter wonder, for kicking snow drifts, picking up ice-chunks, and for drawing smiley faces with your finger on the side of our salt and dirt covered car, and you have yourself a day long outing just to get milk.

Earlier this week the weather hit with a bit more fury that we’ve had this year. It had snowed about an inch over night. The actual air temperature outside was 7 degrees. The weather person on television blabbered on about wind gusts that were upwards of 30-50 miles per hour. Which, brought us to a nice wind chill of twenty degrees below zero.

I eyed this little situation with warm coffee in hand as I debated whether or not to make good on my vow to always walk to school. I made more than a big deal about this decision in another post titled “Drop Off and Run.” http://traceybianchi.com/drop-off-and-run/

As I looked out my window at naked tree branches and ice chunks, watching the tire treads of all the other commuters slice up the snow in the street, I wondered how bad it could really be to walk. I was born and raised in the midwest after all. We may not have mountains or much in the way of beaches, but we are hearty, stubborn folk. So I decided we would walk.

My six year old was elated. His eyes actually welled up with tears when I stated out loud my original thought, that we would drive. When I sang a different tune and declared a walking day, he was giddy. Then I looked up the street one more time. The sidewalks were covered in snow and ice. Few of my neighbors (ourselves included) had been out to shovel their walks yet. And while the storm accumulation was just one inch, much of it ended up in drifts that covered the sidewalks. And all of it landed on top of a sheet of ice, as it had rained and then dipped into snow.

Remember that slow moving gaggle of kids? We have to take a stroller to school or it would be May before we made a round trip. It’s one mile round trip so a stroller is a necessary part of our morning commute. I suddenly realized there was not way we could get our wheels up the street that morning. And the little legs of a just-turned two year old in boots, through the snow, will not make it to school on time. The stroller would not make the trip. We were driving. Especially since all this deliberating had already inched into the time it would take to get dressed up into our gear.

And I will confess, that I was phenomenally relieved by this decision. I am ashamed to say it. I was cold. It was cold outside. Driving to school was like a little dream that day. My son was truly heart broken over the decision and begged me to change my mind. But I was determined to get there on time and warm.

So I share this with you not because it is a particularly interesting vignette, but to assuage any eco-guilt that you may carry around. I have friends who confess their eco-crimes to me all the time. Stressing about forgetting reusable bags in the car, meeting me at the door during birthday parties to warn me that “there are paper plates here.” And most of my friends, while confessing on the one hand, are doing the best that they can in other places. They often state that greener living is also loaded with guilt.

Rest assured, a more sustainable life is not a contest. I am always in awe of others who live, what I suspect, are super-sustainable lives. People I read about who are like ecological super heroes to me. The Barbara Kingsolvers or Doug Fines of the world who ditch cars and homes and set up shop without wheels or the trappings of urban life.

But I suspect they cheat too. Sure, if you are Doug Fine you do not have a car and cannot drive to school. But I am fairly certain they have moments in their days that are less than sustainable. And this gives me hope. Not because it also gives me freedom to cheat, but because if a greener life becomes less about sustainable perfection and more about every day people like you and I doing what we can, then the whole world wins.

Because, there are a lot more moms who drive to school when the windchill is negative 20 than there are moms who ditch their cars altogether. So if we can remove the guilt and help people understand that doing everything green is not the point, doing whatever we can is what works, then the little efforts of billions of people can impact the world in a greater way than the most valiant and noble efforts of a few. And sure, along the way, if you feel led to ditch your automobile, more power to you! I mean that, absolutely do it!

But for most of us, we need to rest in the opportunity to simply what we can, whenever we can. And lost the guilt that comes from believing that we can somehow do it all. For that guilt may stop you from every trying anything. And if that happens, no one will ever walk to school again.

“If you don’t listen to Mommy then Santa Claus is not going to come to our house!”

My six year old was mad. His younger brother, age three, was not eating his breakfast. Then it was time for shoes and socks and school backpacks. The three year old was not having any of that either. Going potty before we left? Nope. Not happening. My six year old, already all buttoned up in his jacket with his hat on, ready to go, sensed my exasperation. And in typical first-born fashion, took matters into his own hands. He threatened Santa Claus.

I grimaced as he said those words. First because I realized that he had not come up with them on his own, that he’s heard them from me, from the television, from books, from grandparents. The other day a bagger at our grocer told them to “be good so Santa will come.” Mostly, though, I winced because I know I have used this threat.

Here’s why. It works.

Within 30 seconds my three year old was scrambling, eyes all wide and crazy, sort of darting all over to see which task he should tackle first. I looked over at my oldest who glanced back at me with a smart, accomplished sort of smile. As if to say, “see mama, I’ll show you how it is done.”

Parenting is so often about bribery. I curse at myself for letting this happen. When my children were born I had dreams of grandeur whereby my little angels would do every task because they saw the merit in picking up toys or wearing clean underwear. That they would be self-motivated, looking for the best opportunities and making the right choices because I somehow pressed the perfect moral agenda on their malleable little hearts.

But now, six years and three kids later it goes something like this:

“Knock it off or I am taking it away!”

Yes, this is my mantra.

“Stop hitting or you go to time out.”

“Eat all your vegetables and you get a cookie.”

“Clean up those toys or you won’t get anymore.”

“Say you’re sorry or you can stop playing.”

And of course, “Santa will find out if you keep that up.”

Of course all this chatter about Santa Claus is rather superfluous and useless really, but it reveals this gaping hole in the way we view Christmas and life in general. A view that says do good and you will get rewarded.

Study harder, achieve more, get promoted, get a raise, get an advanced degree and get the extra letters behind your name. Do your homework and get the A. Parents with younger kids know this routine well. Use the toilet and get a treat. Heck, dogs know the drill. Roll over and get a treat.

We live our lives in a phenomenally conditional manner. Everyday involves some sort of decision matrix that has us computing the reward for XYZ behavior. So when it comes to Christmas, and to the true heart of giving during this season and beyond, it makes sense that we would begin to look many of our opportunities as a way to both get and receive. That we might, if we are not careful, think about what a person has done to receive our gift or our act of charity.

My six year old reminding his brother of the conditions that lie within Christmas has unsettled my heart this month. I’ve been reminded of what it means to give purely. Miroslav Volf, talks about this in his book Free of Charge. He says for us, giving can be so conditional that we struggle to give freely. What does it mean to simply give to another without any hope of a response. Even a gentle “thank you” from a person in need, or a grunt of acknowledgement from a half-asleep homeless person at a shelter.

Or, how many times do we hear the grumbles of those who have decided NOT to give charitably because they simply did not like the particular demographic on the receiving end. That “those people should have known better, planned better, saved more, or thought more about what they were doing.” “I’m not giving to them” they quip. “They don’t deserve it.”

There is, sadly, a part of my dark selfish little soul that wants to be thanked. Which means that there is a part of me that wants to play Santa Claus. But really, who am I to fill those boots? I’m as needy as the next person and I pray that I’m not expected to perform for my gifts or even act remotely deserving.

No need to linger for the “hey thanks,” or give only if someone seems like they have done something to deserve my help. This makes it all conditional once again. As if they have to do something for my Santa Claus-ness to kick in. No need for anymore of that. After all, none of it is mine to give anyway. All I have is because someone was gracious and open handed with me, undeserving and messy as I am, and they did not expect a thing in return. No conditions.

Hi Green Mama Friends!

So here is a nifty little first for this website, the opportunity to host a blog tour.

Elisabeth Corcoran is a writer, thinker, and a mom who lives in the Chicago area, far west, out in Elbun to be exact. She’s got a new book titled “He Is Just That Into You,” that recently released in November of 2009. She and I chatted a few months ago about some social justice issues and agreed to post this blog tour when her book released. So here are three few short Questions and Answers from Elisabeth.

The questions here are short and sweet. Lately I’ve been cornering people and asking them these questions. Not to put them on the spot, but because I, personally, so desperately want to live better, to be smarter, and to discover more about the people and world that we live in. So when I stumble upon an author, especially one who believes in God, I ask away. Here are the short questions and answers. Information on Elisabeth’s book is at the end of the post.

My questions are in black, her answers in red.

How have you seen or, how are you aware of the impact of our poor environmental choices have on the poor? Most of our ecological crimes overwhelmingly impact the poor and environmental stewardship, from God’s perspective is truly about a heart for people and for justice. So what do you see are the important things we need to know when engaging with issues of social justice and the impact the environment has on the poor?

This is an amazing question.  And far deeper than I can tackle intelligently!  But I’ll say this.  I think that when we allow our lives to intersect with those who are in need, whether it be locally or globally, we are more apt to be grateful for what we’ve got, and therefore, hopefully better stewards of what God provides for us.

Africa, what gives you hope? What is your passion for Africa? What is the story of your heartbeat for this continent?

What gives me hope about Africa is that I’ve seen firsthand sustainable, effective changes put in place to help those in need.  I’ve seen water filters, water wells, schools, churches, fishing ponds, AIDS support groups and AIDS awareness.  The hope isn’t so much that all poverty will be eradicated in our lifetime as it is that when people who love Jesus show up, He shows up too, and the combined influence cannot be stopped.  Light just keeps breaking through.

My passion is that those of us who live in suburban Christianity will leave our comfort and security, even if for a little while, and let God wake us up to a much bigger world.  I’m not saying I think every Christian should go to Africa, but I very much believe that God’s heart is for the poor and He wishes to use us to bring justice.  So even becoming aware can be a huge step for someone who has lived as if the earth drops off at the perimeter of the States.

How has your journey of social justice been shaped? What was the point on your journey when you said “hey, I need to pay attention to all of this because it matters to God?”

My story is way too long to go into here in depth.  So, the short version is that a few years ago, God broke my heart in a deeper way than ever before, and while it was broken, He stuck Africa and the AIDS pandemic deep down inside it, then put it back together.  Because I was so raw, and because the hard thing I was going through was justice related, it opened my eyes and my mind and I just knew I had to do something.  But I had no idea at all what that would end up looking like.  I talk a bit more about this in my book.

Which, you can find out more about here:

https://www.winepressbooks.com/product.asp?pid=2634&search=He+is+just+that+into+you&select=Keywords&ss=1

Thanks Elisabeth!

Elisabeth K. Corcoran

How to find Elisabeth!

Facebook

http://www.facebook.com/search/

Type in Elisabeth Klein Corcoran

Twitter

http://twitter.com/ekcorcoran

Website

http://www.elisabethcorcoran.com/

Blog

http://elisabethcorcoran.blogspot.com/