3 minutes to get out

So when I finally get the time to post something on this blog it is usually because I am sitting in my local coffee shop without my kids, feeling like I have reached some sort of technological nirvanna. Some bluesy song by Amy Winehouse or Adele is in the background, the hum of an espresso machine is cranking out another melody, and I am proudly sitting with my laptop, fingers in a frenzy, feeling like the sassiest mom on the planet. Never mind that I am wearing my glasses, the same sweatshirt I wore yesterday, the same jeans I wore yesterday, and cannot take my eyes off the cell phone in case the sitter calls. It does not matter that I have the ringer cranked up so loud my late-grandmother could hear it, I still fear missing the call from the sitter, the one saying that my son dove headfirst off the bunk bed onto the floor. So I neurotically check the phone, did anyone call, did I miss it, did it not ring? What if I miss the call because I am trying to be the coolest mommy ever! 

So anyway, I am there, I smell like coffee and it is sort of gross really, but I am slouched into the best couch in the shop, the one right in front of the fireplace. Suddenly I hear the sound of shuffling feet and look up to find a sort of sweet looking older man staring at me. I smile. I say hello. He does not smile back. He is holding a cup of coffee and says to me. “You are in my seat.” “Oh, I am sorry sir, were you here? I had no idea” I say back. Since he had just walked in and I’d been there an hour already, I did have an idea, I knew he wasn’t there, but what would I say? So I apologize and then keep on typing.

He proceeds to sit down, just inches from me, in a chair detached from another table. He coughs once and says “you have three minutes to get out.” “What?!” “You have three minutes to get out.” I’m miffed and for some reason, actually scared of this no longer sweet looking old man. I could have taken him out with my elbow, but I don’t. I smile. He does not. I begin to pack up my computer. All the other comfy chairs are taken. My moment has passed. 

Apparently, there is no age limit on who can run my life. My two year old, I take orders from him, my five year old, him too. My one year old daughter cannot even talk, but she can point and whine, so I do what she says. And apparently even if you are a ga-gillion years old, you can give me three minutes to evacuate the couch and I am gone.

I am no longer cool blogging mommy. My sweatshirt reeks like coffee so I now have to wash it. Better head home for some laundry. Which, in case you were hoping for an eco-tip, I’ll throw one in to keep you happy, if you wash your laundry in cold water you can save up to 1600 pounds of carbon emissions per year. Close to 90% of the energy it takes to wash a load of laundry comes from heating the water. If you simply wash in cold you can save huge on your energy bill and on your family’s emissions. But does cold get it clean? YES! Research shows that most detergents are designed to work as well in cold water and with all the HE washers on the market, a good wash in cold water will do the trick almost every time!

so that’s it. it won’t always be an eco-update. this was really about my evacuation from the coffee shop. sometimes funny things happen on the way to the blog.

Tags: blogging, laundry